What Good is Repression?
We are ALL fucked up…All of us, but that’s okay, because we are growing towards something. Growing towards some definite & tangible end.
“Even Wise People Act According to their natures, for all living beings are propelled by their natural tendencies. What will one gain by repression?”
When the seed of this company was first planted in my head…I was a Godless man...NO…an abysmal creature. In fact I hated God, and all of Creation, including you. Inimical that’s what I was, dark, heavy and malevolent. I remember one summer in my early twenties, drinking alcohol & doing drugs at the pool, I said to God, “ Sooner or later, I’m going to march on Heaven, tear down the gates, and piss on your head before I end you.” I was in a bad place…eventually everyone makes it there…eventually…everyone.
In the above snippet, Wyatt Earp & Doc Holiday are discussing the nature of one of the principal villains of the movie…the duelist, Johnny Ringo. To quote Doc Holiday from the movie, “A man like Ringo got a great empty hole right through the middle of him.”
This is very true, men like Ringo and my “former self” do indeed have a great empty hole running through the middle of them. Their anger and violence are the mere effects of unresolved sorrows. Those sorrows, being repressed, comes out in the actions of the man by way of anger, violence, and a general “outlaw” type of mentality.
I know this all to well, because I am an Enneagram Type Eight. I believe Type Eight, Level Seven should appropriately describes Johnny Ringo’s disposition:
“Defying any attempt to control them, become completely ruthless, dictatorial, “might makes right.” The criminal and outlaw, renegade, and con-artist. Hard-hearted, immoral and potentially violent.”
But I am not exactly like Johnny Ringo, I have a strong sense of duty. This was my ‘saving grace.’ Where he was comfortably embedded in, and embraced with his outlaw mentality, I was conflicted and torn. I was in the midst of a spiritual trial, a tribulation. Do you perhaps believe in reincarnation? By that I mean the immortality of the soul, and temporary nature of these material physical bodies? Regardless of your answer, I definitely do. A reincarnated soul will be placed inside a material body, to live a certain life designed to impel its growth, to challenge it…it’s inner nature…to fail or succeed. Well, this time, I did not fail, I succeeded, I persevere. I took the test, we shall call it “The Black.” I took this body, along with the karma, and the drama, that I had generated in previous lives, and I tamed it. The plan is to help you to do the same. Perhaps you should understand the nature of a healthy version of me, Type Eight, Level One:
“(At Their Best): Become self-restrained and magnanimous, merciful and forbearing, mastering self through their self-surrender to a higher authority. Courageous, willing to put self in serious jeopardy to achieve their vision and have a lasting influence. May achieve true heroism and historical greatness.”
I can’t tell any of you how to fix yourself, I can only tell you how I did it. How I am changing my direction, how I am redeeming myself. That’s the whole purpose of this blog. I can only share with you some of the books I have read, and recapitulate to you a few of my own life experiences. Real talk, real shit. I am a student of a spiritual science known as Theosophy, it has played a profound part in altering my “mental processes” and ultimately led to a change in my “mental program.”
I would love to say that the old part of me is gone, but that would be a lie. Lying is something for children and cowards. We can never rid ourselves of our darker, more animalistic self. We can only conquer it. It is much a part of us as our own shadow. For our purposes, I will refer to this part of us that we struggle with as a “rector,” but technically speaking it is called an elemental…specifically a human elemental. Over the course of this blog, I will reveal to you things I have learned about this Nature of Ours.
The products I produce are indeed the effects of my darker self’s causes and energies. I like most people tried to repress it; however, realization is the key. Now I have it under my control and I make use of its energies like a electric motor…its the stator and this company is the rotor. I allow it to express itself in the form of products…shirts, hats, you know other shit. It’s almost always…criminal…mere reflections of my environment, here in America. Instead of repressing it, I mastered it, and utilize it for my ends. Welcome!